Visual Artist's Dilemma

I took a note, from a digital art book, which states that most artists are visual creatures. What I believe they meant was that artist see things in their head, visions of what is to come or how an idea had blossomed to form a complex picture. The overall big picture that is the end product of whatever they had ponder about.

Once that picture/vision has been shape, it forms to be the goal of the artist, and then it will be his duty to do what is necessary to reach it.

However, the difficulty for the artist is during the need to explain or portray that mental picture to anyone. It requires the help of detailed drawings, specific words descriptions, and other related-media. What's more, if the artist himself may not be that intellectually capable, then it distorts the way he describes them.

One analogy is like when an architect of engineering, who is capable of visualising how a complicated new machine works, but may not necessarily know the right technological terms to explain his creation. Hence, his peers/workers may not be able to comprehend what he is trying to achieve nor can work toward that particular goal.

In the end, the artist does most of the leg work for his own creations, and even if he achieve it, ages will have passed. But then again, he would have been crowned a genius.

Psychedelic

A simple research on brainwaves gave a surprising link to my current sleeping disorder.

Here is a a quick summary:

Beta:
- strongly engaged mind
- mental activities
- arousal
- active debate

Alpha:
- reflect or meditate
- non-arousal
- a walk in a garden

Theta:
- daydream
- can't recall what happen a few mins/secs ago
- tasks so automatic, that can mentally disengage from them
- achieve mental relaxation
- prone to flow of ideas

Delta:
- deep dreamless sleep


What seems to be the case is that since I daydream frequently and often full of ideas, Theta brainwaves are roaming through my mind on most occasion. Due to the this fact, my brainwaves can easily switch to Delta mode causing me to feel sleepy despite the hour of that day. Therefore, providing a vague yet meaningful explanation of my sleeping disorder.

Spirits of the Jungle

4-12 Aug 2010.
Location: Brunei Kampong Batang Duri, Temburung, Brunei Darulsalam,

A period where Man Vs Wild program was running in my life channel. It was my first time ever jungle trekking with camping. Nonetheless, my mind was all prep-up for what was to come. Expecting worst scenarios, the whole journey from point-to-point was appreciable. No major fights, only small arguments. What was the kicker was that I had to be the navigator. Fortunantely, smartalex Bryan was my assistant navigator. A blessing I assure you that. Someone who I can truly work with.

Our team of 18 consisted of; White Azhar, Kampung boy Faisal, Paddington Imran, Wak Imran, A'lvl student Bryan, Silat artist Firdaus, Fashionista Aydil, Sotong pair Chua & Ong, Section buddy Riduan, Joker Haikal, Positive Fahmie, Makjanda Farreze, Floorball player Ozalis, Jap writer Yuji, Whining Muhaimin, FI Azzan, and lastly a happy MEal.

The 2 instrutors; Abang Faisal (OBSG) & Encik Jamil (OBBR).

With our hearts combined, we are the Pateh Tuba!

The 9-days ordeal, though exaggeratedly extreme, shaped part of my life worth noting. The experiences gained left its' mark as the best jungle living ever. The tent set-up was not as hard as I once believed. The trekking was simply superb. The bathe by the open river during a heavy downpour with NSF companions was something you can never buy. Lastly, the food.......was one-of-a-kind; Pure Milo sachets, baked beans with bread, rice dumplings with canned chicken curry, and lastly, the infamous MaggiMee!

One of my childhood ambitions relive itself through this epic minor adventure. Other than embracing mother nature, I learnt that the jungle brings out the inner side of you that we all so often mask from public scrutinies. Amidst desperate times, people bring out the best or worst in them (a new point added to my psychology of human nature). However, to nurture the capability to cope with such character is much harder than I thought. Especially when they may ticked you off to the very skin. I ponder over the question, "Do others do really come before self, or must we take care of ourselves before we can take care of others?"

Ethical & moral dilemmas were subjects I often wonder. Wonder what can be/are the solutions.

Moreover, we also need to be reminded of the things we were once taught, not just discussed & forget and choose not to implement them. The ideas, techniques, moral lessons, etc. are actually more valuable than how they are assume to be. But, most of the time human nature prevails, and often than not, we carry on with our present life and forget.

My advice, capture each special moment through a diary, blog, video, a song played repeatedly at that moment, your freaking brain memory (if you can recall frequently), etc.

When it comes to the jungle, respect mother nature, your peers, and yourself.
Or the spirits may just haunt you.......